so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
