Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
