I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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