Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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