so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
