i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I use my feet as sexual weapons
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
