It's Friday. Sex?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
