He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
