I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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