Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
