Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
