So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
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This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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