Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
