Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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