So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
