Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
