Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
