bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
