dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
