Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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