Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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