addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We don't watch enough power rangers
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
