listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
