Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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