he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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