I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
