For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize