Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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