Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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