Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
my god I love twenty year old dicks
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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