Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
