I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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