This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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