Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
