So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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