he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think people are normalizing furries
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
