who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize