what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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