At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
