I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
