So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
