You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Your cock deserves a montage
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
