you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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