This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I did not marry a roomba.
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