bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My liver just had a heart attack.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
