I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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