Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
People in love make me want to vomit
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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