Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
