just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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