If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
that may or may not have been my penis.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
