I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
