new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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