o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
