He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize