My balls are so social today.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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