wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
