he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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