i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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