sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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