I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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